After perusing page after page and article after article of “How To” increase page rank until I was almost comatose. I have decided to throw my hat into the proverbial ring and shed some light on the way I would go about increasing page rank.

Now if you decide to use my ideas please note that it is imperative that you keep timing in mind. You know the old saying.” Out of sight out of mind” well I am sure that applies here. Also, remember these are ideas and I would like some sort of credit if all goes well and complete absolution if it fails hideously.

As a web designer once told me, “You better pay up or the page you are looking at now will no longer be there”. (What a joker he was). Anyway, below you will find a few tips that I will be using and as I said before they are not for the weak.

First get in touch with Google and tell them that you Yahoo meant absolutely nothing to you. It was a fling and you swear your undying love only to Google. (Alternatively, you can use “King” who knows it cannot hurt).

Secondly, send flowers to Google I would say everyday about a month before the update religiously. (Do not forget to have a resource box where you can submit your domain address) Remember to check your spelling.

Third, offer to do their laundry I am sure there are single people working there that would appreciate this. In addition, if that does not work suggest donating one of your organs. (Their choice of course) In addition, while you are at it suggest to them they contact DMOZ and let them know about your generosity. (Just in case they have a few hundred laundry loads, they need to have picked up. (I am here for ya)

Lastly, when the page rank update takes place and if it does not meet your approval. Deny it and let them know it was a mistake you would like to have changed please to something like a 7 or 8 whichever is good for them. In the end if all of these tactics prove to be worthless then I suppose I will be back reading forums and linking to sites and writing articles until I am comatose.